Taking Time to Myself

I got up early this morning.  My sweet baby girl (who is six months old today!) did a six hour stretch last night, which is a vast improvement compared to recent nights, so I too got a little more sleep.  I tried to fall back asleep after the 5:30 am wakeup but I felt restless.  So instead of tossing and turing I decided to get up, do some yoga and enjoy some quiet time to myself.

I wish I could do this every morning.

I miss my yoga practice. And early morning sessions always remind me of the three weeks I spent in Costa Rica a lifetime ago doing my yoga teacher training.  We were up, on our mats at 6 am every day.  The air was cool but humid.  I would wake to the sound of howler monkeys and make my way silently to the yoga shala atop a little hill overlooking the lush rainforest.  At the end of the class we’d lay in savasana awaiting the sound of the conch which meant it was breakfast time.  Breakfast was often had in silence and we would all sit an enjoy our food and much awaited coffee.  I remember feeling so much gratitude and love.  I felt so alive those mornings.  I came back home wanting to continue an early morning practice, but it just wasn’t the same.

Once my sweet baby girl starts sleeping better (god, please be soon!!) I am going to make this my new ritual.  I need time to myself every day, and not at the end of the day when I’m exhausted and filled with all of the feelings of the day.  Taking care of a toddler and a baby is not easy.

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A Day in My Life

I really want to keep this blog and my habit plans going but it’s a bit hard with a three month old and a two-year-old. So instead of writing about any particular habits today I thought I would show you a day in my life.

Now this is not a typical day because there really is no typical day. Isabel isn’t really on a schedule yet so her naps are a bit all over the place. Some days she only takes 45 minute naps and some days Nathan refuses to nap, which can make for a really long day. And our day he can start anytime between 7 and 8:30 pretty much depending on when Nathan wakes up.

So having said that here was our day on Friday, May 12.

Warning: My tenses are really off in this post – I hope you don’t mind!  Some of this is me recording it as it happens and some is looking back and I honestly just don’t have the time or mental capacity to edit it. Also, this is a long post because, well, my days are long.

7 AM Everyone is awake. I get Isabel out of her crib, bring her into bed with me and nurse her to the sound of Nathan jumping and chatting to himself. I leave Isabel on the bed, go down and make myself a cup of coffee because, well, priorities. Last night I was up with her at 2 and 5:30 so I’m a little tired today. I’m a little tired every day. I drink my coffee in the bedroom while Isabel and I smile and coo each other. I don’t hear Nathan so I think he might have fallen back asleep. I use that as an opportunity to take a quick shower.

7:45 AM Nathan is up. I go in and get them and say good morning good morning hello good morning. I change him out of his pyjamas and we eventually make our way downstairs for milk and breakfast which this morning is french toast and bananas. Isabel’s pretty fussy this morning so I put her upstairs in the crib for her to stare at her mobile which is her favourite thing to do these days.

8:45 AM Isabel’s up in the ergo carrier. Nathan is colouring on the living room floor and I’m trying to get him out the door to his daycare, which is just a few houses down.

Oh man, look at that tired face!

may 12

9:00 AM I’m back home from dropping Nathan off at the daycare. We always see a cat on our way, so we stop and talk about the cat for a little while. “Yes, it’s a cat.  That’s right, it’s white.  I know, I saw the cat too. Say bye to the cat, ok bye bye cat.  Yes, I know, it’s a cat.  That’s right it’s white.”  And so on…it usually takes a long time to get there but today was actually pretty quick. By the time I get back Isabel is ready for her nap.

9:10 AM Isabel is napping. While I was nursing her down today she started shaking which has never happened before and it scared the crap out of me but she stopped as soon as I said her name. I then spent the next 15 minutes googling it and apparently it’s normal. Still, I don’t like it. So while she naps I throw in a load laundry, clean up Nathan’s crayons, clean up the kitchen and  did this really great 20 minute yoga routine. It was hard but I modified where I needed to. I then made it through 12 minutes of meditation. Isabel cried out halfway through so my mind started wondering to what we were going to do today and I somehow ended up thinking about wanting to buy a piano. I then had a coffee answered some texts checked my email while listening to Yoga Girl’s latest podcast.

11:10 AM she’s up! Big nap today. This is her reaction to seeing me, melts my heart every time!

isabel waking

We have about an hour before we have to go get Nathan so I nursed her, change her, and we play a bit. I have lunch (left over chicken stir fry) and then I put her in the ring sling and we head out the door.

12:00 p.m. We walked down the street to pick up Nathan and on our way back we watch the squirrels climbing the trees. Nathan plays with the rocks in the backyard for a bit and then we come inside to colour and I nurse Isabel while Nathan eats crayons and pretends to shove them up his nose all while saying OK play? OK play? Yes Nathan OK play.

silly nathan

12:40 PM I bring Isabel upstairs for a nap while Nathan stays downstairs and colors. She went down quickly with no shaking (phewf). I come back to find him reading a not so child appropriate book (it’s A Game of Thrones graphic novel) and he wants to read it together so we spent some time reading.  Mostly it’s me saying ‘boy, eyes, hair, horse’ and ignoring the fact that there’s lots of fighting and blood and just not appropriate things.

nathan reading comic

I spend the next half hour trying to convince Nathan to come upstairs with me for his nap. What  finally works is putting him in the ring sling. He loved it. I think he likes to be reminded that he’s still my baby. It’s not easy having a new baby sister I’m sure.

1:20 PM Nathan’s asleep. Both kids are napping. I have coffee, text some friends and start this blog post. I put on some music and think about tidying up the house and folding laundry but end up surfing the net, staring out the window, and enjoying this calm moment to myself.

2:30 PM  Both kids are still napping.  This is unheard of!!  I’m contemplating another coffee, but I try to limit it to three a day.  I have a tea instead along with a handful of cashews, some goldfish crackers, and half a bagel.  And then a bowl of chilli.  Breastfeeding is hungry work!

tea

I read my book, check on Isabel three times, and drink two glasses of water.

3:30 PM Nathan wakes up crying, as he does unfortunately.  I usually give him 10 minutes before going in, otherwise he’s an inconsolable mess, so I wait.

4:00 PM both kids are up we make our way down stairs and have a smoothie with spinach, banana, blueberries, yogurt, and coconut water. Isabel plays on her activity mat and Nathan walks around drinking his smoothie. He’s also learned how to unlock and open the patio door, so that’s fun.

patio door

4:30 PM Dad’s home! Danny orders pizza while I hang out with the babies.

5:00 PM We eat. Isabel eats my hand and drools all over me. I’m pretty sure she’s starting to teethe. More hanging out.

6:00 PM Isabel goes down for her last nap of the day and we read books with Nathan. He’s going a little crazy, we think it might have been the pizza.


6:40 PM Isabel is up and it’s bath time. Nathan wants to get in the bath with Isabel and 2 minutes later points at her and says ‘out’. I do Isabel’s bedtime routine and danny does Nathans.

Wine o’clock YAY! aka 8:00. Kids are in bed. Danny and I have wine and watch a little Netflix.

10:00 PM Time for bed.  I get up with her twice in the night and start the next day at 7:45.  Tired but happy 🙂

A Hectic Morning

This is going to be a quick check in to say that today’s exercise is done and done.  Instead of elliptical I went for a walk to my friends house and back.  It was a bit of a disaster of a morning – baby screaming, toddler hanging off my leg crying, laundry piled on the couch…you know, typical ‘I have two small children’ scene.

It was actually incredibly stressful.  I hate when my sweet baby girl cries and I can’t get to her. Or when my son needs my attention and I have to tend to a screaming baby.  And I feel it all so much more when the house is a mess.

But we did it.  We managed to leave the house.  A half hour later than planned, but we did it!

Oh and it was only once I got to my friends house that I noticed I had completely neglected my appearance.  No makeup, hair a disaster.  I was wearing pants though, so that’s something.

And it’s a beautiful day.  It was a nice walk there and back – total 50 minutes of walking.  I’m thinking I’ll get out for another walk once the babies wake up from their naps.

That’s right – they are both napping at the SAME TIME right now.  Well, my son is currently babbling in his room, but he’ll fall asleep soon.  Point is, I have no one screaming at me or hanging off my leg.

Sorry, I realize this is quickly turning into a ‘mom blog’ but yeah, that’s kind of my life right now.

Oh I also wanted to say that I’m pretty sore from yesterday’s workout.  Just goes to show how out of shape I am.

As for tomorrow…the plan is:

BENT OVER ROW (with weights)
DEADLIFT (with weights)

Ugh that does not sound like a good time.  Not sure when I’ll fit it in seeing as it’s a holiday and Danny and Nathan will both be home in the morning.  Maybe we’ll all do a workout together 🙂

Until tomorrow…

Using the Baby Weight

Oh man I am tired today.  I really had to talk myself into doing Wednesday’s planned exercises.  I didn’t do it this morning while Isabel napped because, well honestly, I don’t remember why.  It’s only 2 pm and I don’t remember what I did from 9-10 this morning.

I bet I drank coffee.

Oh yeah, and I watched an episode of Workin’ Moms.

Obviously too busy to work out.

And then noon came and I picked Nathan up from daycare.  He’s so great.  I often feel guilty for having him in daycare when I’m home, but at the end of the day I do think it’s better for him, me, and Isabel too that he spend three hours a day playing with some other kids.

Anyways, so Nathan went down for his nap at 1 just as Isabel was waking up, as is the way.  So I decided if I’m going to work out (which I have committed to doing every week day) then I might as well do it now.

Today’s Progress Report

So today’s workout was:

SQUATS BANDS/ WEIGHTS
LUNGES BANDS/ WEIGHTS
AB THINGIE

I was going to go downstairs and get the weights when I realized, I have the perfect weight right in front of me – a 13 (ish) pound baby!  And a pretty cute one at that, if I do say so myself!

Isabel

 

So I picked Isabel up and did three sets of 15 squats.  I was winded at the end but I didn’t go to muscle failure (or whatever that term is that my husband uses).

I then put her down to do my lunges.  These were hard for me without any weights – again, haven’t worked out in about a year.  I did three sets of 15 again.

As for the ‘ab thingie’ this is just bridge pose with leg extension things.  Not sure if that makes sense.  I can’t do crunches because I have some ab separation and so this was the alternative.  And they were hard!  I didn’t expect them to be that hard.  I did three sets of 10.

Here’s video proof of my work – not the best lighting and no sound, but it’s proof!

The whole thing only took 16 minutes – I probably should have done more reps but I’m pretty happy with today’s workout.

Plan for Tomorrow

Tomorrow I’ll be dusting off our elliptical and hopping on there for at least 20 minutes.  It’s supposed to be a beautiful day out so I may swap this out for a 45 minute walk outside.  I’ll have to check with the boss first to see if that’s ok 😉

Until tomorrow..

Cultivating Some New Habits

Oh hi there.  It’s been a while, I know.  Seven months in fact.  It’s been so long that I don’t even know how to begin this post.  So I will begin with why I am writing again.

I’m ready to cultivate some new habits.

And that’s really why I haven’t written here in so long.  I’ve been a bit busy to cultivate anything but babies.

Yes, babies, as in plural.

I now have two babies.  Nathan just turned two in February, so technically he’s not really a baby anymore.  He’s full blown toddler which comes with a whole lot of toddler sized “fun”.  Seriously though, he’s super cool right now.  Learning new words every day, really watching us to see what we’re doing and how we’re doing it, and he continues to be very brave and physical.  He’s also a bit of a lunatic, but aren’t all toddlers?

My second, Isabel, is just the sweetest baby girl.  She’s 10 weeks old and her smiles make my heart melt.  I had a tough pregnancy and a crazy intense home birth (maybe I’ll tell that story here one day) – pretty much everything was different the second time around. And she is so different from how Nathan was as a newborn.  He was high needs and could not be put down, including to sleep.  She is super chill and sleeps long stretches on her own.  It’s aaaaamazing.

So yeah, I’m 10 weeks post partum and I’ve got a few ideas for habits that I want to cultivate.   I’m finding that being a mom to two little ones makes me a bit obsessed with being a mom.  Which is not a bad thing really, but I don’t want to lose myself in motherhood.  I want to continue to do the things that make me feel like me.  And since Isabel actually naps and I have time in the day I want to make sure I’m making the most of that time –  meaning, not binge watching bad tv or scrolling through social media.

So I’m going to start with getting back into my physical body.

I’ve asked my husband, Danny, to put together a workout plan for me.  I asked him to keep it to 30 minutes a day, that I can do it at home, and to make sure it’s post partum appropriate (no crunches, not too intense – I honestly haven’t worked out in about a year, so I need to take it slow!).  This is what he came up with:

MONDAY
PUSHUPS
SHOULDER FLIES (with weights)
SHOULDER RAISES (with weights)

TUESDAY
YOGA

WEDNESDAY
SQUATS BANDS/ WEIGHTS
LUNGES BANDS/ WEIGHTS
AB THINGIE

THURSDAY
ELLIPTICAL

FRIDAY
BENT OVER ROW (with weights)
DEADLIFT (with weights)

I totally meant to start today but I didn’t.  And I have excuses!  But I can always have excuses, especially with two littles at home.  So if I want to do this, I need to prioritize it.  And I need to do it at the same time every day – but not at the end of the day which is what I had planned to do today.  I’m just too tired once the kids are in bed and our evenings are often a bit hectic.

Take tonight for example:  an entire beer smashed on our kitchen floor which woke the baby up which upset Nathan.  The dinner I made turned out disgusting (though the face Nathan made was pretty great) so we ate peas and pizza instead.  Both kids went to bed fairly easily but after cleaning the kitchen that last Corona in the fridge was just too tempting.  And we all know Coronas and pushups just don’t mix.

So today starts with just setting my intention.  Putting it out there that I will commit to this plan for 3 weeks.  After three weeks I’ll reassess and see where I’m at.

I started this website 3? 4? years ago as an accountability tool and that’s what I’m going to use it as once again.  Each day I will post here how many reps I did, any obstacles I overcame to get the workout in, and just sort of a progress report.

So tomorrow I will begin this journey with YOGA!

Super pumped.

New Routines and Old Habits

I just finished my first whole week of work after my one year maternity leave and it’s going well.  Better than I had expected.  It helps so much that Nathan’s home with Danny.  But I still miss him so much.  It’s hard to go from 100% at home with him to getting only a few precious hours.

This first week was really about finding a new routine. I’ve found that being back at work has brought back some old, not so great, habits.

So here’s where I’m at right now.

Mornings

I have no need for an alarm clock anymore.   I do wish that I could set the alarm that wakes me up.  I would set it to go off at 6 and not 5 and I would have it set to giggles, or chirps and not cries.

(Although Nathan doesn’t always wake at 5 and he doesn’t always wake up crying, it does happen more than I’d like).

He is sleeping through the night, for the most part, so that’s something.

But needless to say, my days start a whole lot earlier now.

Usually I’ll go in and get Nathan and bring him right back into bed with me to nurse him.  He’s not very interested in nursing anymore so this is often a short session followed by him clawing his way off of me to grab whatever is on our night stand.  Or he beelines it to the bottom of the bed to play with the blinds.  Needless to say, morning cuddles in bed are pretty  much non-existent.  So we get up.  I change his diaper and we head downstairs.

I put him on the floor with his toys while I make coffee.  My coffee habit (ahem addiction) is not one I’m wanting to change at the moment.  I would like to have a healthier start to the day – drink lemon water or have tea instead – but I need coffee.

I then sit on the floor with him while he plays/tries to grab my coffee.

Depending on the time I’ll then have breakfast with him (oatmeal, toast, pancakes or eggs usually) and then at 7 Danny takes over while I get ready for work.  I shower, get dressed, watch a show on my iPad while putting on my make-up and do my hair (right now I’m watching reruns of Being Erica on Netflix). I’m trying to establish the habit of having a glass of water while getting ready.  I need to put more effort into this.

By 7:45 I’m ready to leave for work.

Work

My work days have been going by really fast.  I’ve had a lot of catching up to do from the time I was away (I haven’t done this role in about 2.5 years) and I have a number of projects and ideas that I want to initiate.  (If you’re curious, here’s my other blog where I talk about the work I do.)

In the week that I’ve been back I’ve noticed some not so great work habits that need changing.  I want to:

  • drink more water – I bring my water bottle with me and I try to fill it up as soon as I get into work
  • bring enough food – it’s so easy to spend a lot of money at work on coffees, muffins, chocolate, and pastries
  • stop eating so much chocolate – at home I kept a bar of dark chocolate in the fridge at all times and munched on it throughout the day but am not so keen to keep this habit going, especially now that I’m not breastfeeding as much (those calories are not going to burn themselves off anymore!)
  • leave my desk at lunch – this is a big one, sitting all day is hard! I’m doing yoga at lunch on Mondays with my good friend Charlotte (she teaches the class in an art gallery) and I hope to do more yoga at lunch at a nearby studio – we’ll see though it’s often hard to time it right. Once the weather gets nice I’ll for sure be getting out for walks, but for now I just need to move more.  I’m not used to sitting all day or staring at a computer for as long as I do now.

So yeah, work is good.  I miss Nathan but Danny and I email back and forth so I get all the news. We even met up over lunch one day this week!  I’m so lucky!!

Evenings

I’m usually home from work by 5 and am greeted by a very happy baby and a happy, but tired husband (he’s adjusting to our new routines too).   Danny’s been making dinners so we usually sit down to eat pretty much right away.

After dinner I hug, kiss, cuddle, and tickle Nathan on our living room floor.  We play with his toys and I tell him a billion times that I love him.  He laughs a lot, makes sweet noises, and tries to walk (he’s almost there!).

I love this time but have been really tired this week.  I know it’ll just take some getting used to.

I then start Nathan’s bedtime routine at around 7 and he’s down by 7:30 (usually).  He (usually) goes to sleep without a peep and sleeps through the night.

After he’s down I do a clean-up and relax with a glass of wine or tea.  Usually wine.

I’ve been in bed early (a habit I’d like to keep with).  I usually read (I’m reading Harry Potter right now haha) and then lights out by 10 the latest.

And then up at 5 or 6 to do it all over again.

All in All…

I’d have to say life is good.  I’m happy with our routine and I’m excited about this stage in our lives.

Now to tackle those habits….

Just Not Feeling It

After I put Nathan down to sleep (which, by the way, has been amazing – he’s 11 months old today and he’s really changed these last two weeks. At night time I can put him down drowsy but awake and he actually falls asleep.  Blows my mind.  Needless to say we’ve had some real adventures in the sleep department over here!)

Sorry, where was I?

Oh yes, right, after my baby miraculously fell asleep ON HIS OWN!!! CRAZINESS!!! I rolled out my yoga mat, all set to do today’s video.  I’m quite a few days behind on this Yoga Camp thing because on days where I do my own thang (go to a studio or just my own practice) I obviously don’t double up and do that days video.  So I’m on day 15.

I opened up the video and saw it’s 40 minutes.  Ugh, OK, I thought, a little long for tonight, but I can do it.  And then I read the description.

“Strengthens” it said.

“Stick to it” it said.

“Challenging” it said.

No thank you, I said.

I decided instead to give this yoga for bedtime video a go.  I made it to a whole eight minutes before I stopped the video.  I just really wasn’t feeling it.

So I thought instead I’d do a little meditation before bed.  Came across this meditation video which is actually pretty good, but I stopped the video after only six minutes.  I felt really uncomfortable and just couldn’t settle in.

So yeah, not the best night for yoga or meditation, but that’s OK.  Hopefully I’ll have more energy tomorrow.

3 Months

I can’t believe Nathan is three months old today.  I was going to say *only* three months because these have honestly been three of the longest months of my life.

I wrote about some of the challenges about life with a newborn when he was three weeks old.  Some of these challenges still persist.  Namely the sleep deprivation and the fact that I’m not sleeping well.

Did I mention that I’m really tired?

I know, it’s something you kind of expect.  It’s what people say to you all. the. time. when you’re pregnant – “get your sleep in now while you can”.  Ya, like that even happened when I was pregnant!  I went from being physically uncomfortable for, oh I’d say the last month or so, to being kept awake with a little dinosaur in my bed.  The sounds that this child makes are like nothing I’ve ever heard before.

Yes, I cosleep.  This was not planned.  If I could go back I would have not gone down this road because it’s a hard one to get away from.

Yes, the cuddles are great and it’s incredibly reassuring to have him next to me and it makes those 4 am nursing sessions super convenient, but I can’t sleep with him next to me.  He’s my little flailing dinosaur – all arms and legs and grunts.  That and I’m not able to fall into a complete relaxed deep sleep.

So now that he’s three months I’m going to try to get him out of my bed and at least into the bassinet.  We’re going to aim for the crib at six months (I’m honestly  not ready to have him out of the room).  In his bassinet I’ll still be kept awake by the grunts, I’m sure, but at least I’ll be able to relax more in my sleep.  And it’s a start to getting him to sleep on his own.  It would also be nice if he could stop napping only in the Ergo carrier.

Sorry if this is really boring.  This is kind of ,my life right now.

The other challenge that is persisting is the worry (I’m sure the lack of sleep doesn’t help this).  It’s actually getting to be really annoying and I seriously need to step away from the Google.  Like right now he has a cough.  So naturally, I Googled it and babies under three months should not be coughing and it could mean there’s something wrong with their lungs and you should call your doctor.  So what about if he’s exactly three months?  My intuition tells me he’s ok – we turned the heat on again and it’s really dry in here so I think I just need to run the humidifier in our room.  My worry, on the other hand, is not as rational as my intuition and thinks there might be something wrong with his lungs.  Afterall, Google said there could be.

I was telling Danny about my worry last night while I was caressing Nathans adorable little noggin, which seemed kind of hot to me, so I said ‘does his head feel hot to you’ and Danny was like, ‘you’re joking, right?’  ‘No seriously, feel his head.’ (It didn’t feel hot to him.)

But ya, three months old!  Awww this guy.

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This has been a pretty awesome month in terms of his development.  These last two weeks in particular.  He’s super smiley, squeely, squirmy, observant and is now grasping at things.  And putting everything in his mouth.  He especially likes to eat his bunny. It’s super cute.

He’s grown from 5 lbs 12 oz (at his lowest weight) to over 14 lbs!!  He still looks pretty tiny, but I can feel that he’s a lot more solid.  A lot less breakable now 🙂

Last Day of the 21 Day Clear the Clutter Challenge

Well, today is day 21.  I haven’t been very good at posting my updates, but I am happy to report that I did clear some clutter over the last week. It’s been difficult, and I wasn’t able to get to it every day, but I have good reasons.

One, obviously, Nathan.   I think he was developing new skills last week as he was extra clingy, fussy, and hungry.  I felt like we had gone back to week three.  I unfortunately saw a lot of this face last week.  (I couldn’t resist taking a picture as it was the first time his lip really came out.)

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He’s 12 weeks now and I do see some major changes.  He’s so smiley for one!  Very responsive to people’s faces and voices.  He’s grasping at things.  It’s so cute to see his little hands reach for his toys on his play mat now.  And what does he do once he gets it in his grasp – he puts it in his mouth.  Everything these days is going in his mouth.  He especially likes to eat our hands.

And he’s started drooling.  It’s a little out of control actually.

The other reason why I wasn’t fully committed to this challenge this last week was because my brother and his girlfriend came up from Toronto to visit.

On Sunday we went out – it was my very first (proper) outing without the little guy.  I was rather nervous.  Not so much to leave him with Danny, I knew whatever Nathan threw at him he could handle, it was more just the feeling of being away.  I really needed it though!  We spent five glorious hours at Le Nordik spa relaxing, eating and cheersing.

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I tried not to talk about Nathan too much.  (Though I did show our cab driver a picture of him – oh  man I am so lame!!!)

So having said that, since my last post, which was on day – oh my! – day 15, I managed to clear the clutter from three areas.

Our little cubby in the kitchen.

I had some great supervisors for this task.

IMG_4760

Our front garden (which so desperately needed it).

And today I did this little corner in our living room.  We received so many wonderful gifts from coworkers and I had just been storing the things that we won’t use yet in this space.  Not ideal.  So I designated a spot for them.


And there we have it! Challenge complete!

I think all things considering I did exceptionally well.  Not only did I clear the clutter from some key areas in my home, but I’ve also managed to maintain these spaces – which is really where the challenge lies.  It’s really about getting into the habit of putting things where they belong and simply taking a few minutes each day to return belongings to their proper spot.

Hmmm now what challenge to do next?

A Mothers Love

Before I left on maternity leave, one of my colleagues told me that when you have a child you understand the extent to which your own parents love you.

This love is something we kind of take for granted.  Of course our parents love us, they kind of have to.

(They may not always like us, but they always love us.)

It’s a cliche, I know, but I didn’t know that I could love this deeply.  I love my baby with every cell in my body.  This morning I woke up to some of the biggest, gummiest smiles I’ve seen yet and I felt what I can only describe as pure joy.  And when he looks up at me with his big brown eyes, my heart just melts.

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To know that my mother felt this for each of us is really special.  To know that she too got up at 4 am to nurse us.  To know that she too worried the kind of worry that never really goes away, no matter how old her babies get.  That she too loved, and still loves us, this deeply.

My mom is one of the most loving people I know.  She is patient.  She is very affectionate and she always made us feel loved.  I grew up in a home of copious cuddles, kisses, hugs, and I love you’s.

This baby stage is very special (albeit difficult at times) and I know it will pass quickly.  There will be lots of challenges that we will face while raising Nathan, for that I”m sure.  But I take so much comfort in the fact that, although my mother doesn’t live in the same city as me, she’s only a phone call away.  I know that I can turn to her for advice and support through the difficult times.  And of course, to share the beautiful moments with as well.

I am so thankful to my mother and all that she is and all that she’s taught me about being a mother.

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Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!